There’s a false sense of calm over the semester break. It makes me think I can just slack off and do nothing. Yet, that is entirely false. I need to stay focused and work towards my goals: finishing grad school, publishing my work, maintaining my job at the company and eventually getting or creating a job I enjoy. Now that the craziness of the holidays is over, I have allowed myself an entire day to sit in front of the computer and do absolutely nothing but post little stuff here and there. I feel like I’ve sunk back into my love addiction, where I spent all day WAITING for G to come over or call after he was done at the diner. God, what an awful feeling. I haven’t felt like that in awhile. I’ve been enormously busy since September that this peace feels ugly, strange and wasteful. I did, after all, always believe I was more a procrastinator than a love addict. Ugg. I must motivate myself.

And I will! After tonight’s little get-together. My dearest friend DB is home for the holidays and she’s coming over tonight to hang with me and D and D’s sister and possibly D’s brother. So, one more night of festivities and then I need to make a list to start me back on a more motivational track. Wish me luck!