Tips

Love addiction overlaps quite obviously with other addictions. Here’s 101 ways to help you get through NC and strengthen your recovery!

From: “Addiction-Free Naturally: Liberating Yourself from Sugar, Caffeine, Food Addictions, Tobacco, Alcohol, Prescription Drugs” by Brigitte Mars

1. Encourage spirituality in your life.
2. Treat all living things as spiritual beings.
3. Live life as a prayer.
4. Pray for strength, guidance & wisdom.
5. Meditate.

6. Breathe deeply & slowly. Oxygen nourishes the brain.
7. Chant. Allow your entire being to radiate healing sounds. Om works well. Or use your favorite mantra.
8. Read. Read all those books you’ve always wanted to, but never had the time for.
9. Make your living space beautiful & joyous. Surround yourself with the healing energy of plants, colors & aromas.
10. Keep your living space clean.

11. Look & dress in a manner that you deem pleasing. This will boost your confidence in all of life’ s situations.
12. Unclutter your mind. Get an engagement book and write down numbers, errands & appointments.
13. Play music that’s calming & soothing & contemplative.
14. Don’t listen to music that you associate with your addiction.
15. Learn to play a musical instrument.

16. Dance.
17. Face your fears.
18. Address the issue. Don’t suppress the issue.
19. Make a list of all your good characteristics. Post it on your bathroom mirror. Update it as often as possible.
20. Write down all your problems and brainstorm possible ways to solve them.

21. Practice visualization. Visit these tranquil places in your mind. (If you’re having trouble doing it on your own, invest in some of the many audiotapes that guide listeners through visualizations.)
22. Talk to a sympathetc listener.
23. If you need outside help, get it. Find a therapist with whom you’re comfortable talking. Or join a support group — they’re free, widely available, and have worked for millions of people. Support groups offer the opportunity to share what matters to you with those who understand. Bring your loved ones if they’re willing.
24. Heal your inner child. We sometimes need to accept that our parents did the best they could, and they themselves may have lived with great difficulty. Be willing to forgive.
25. Nurture your inner child. Read fairy tales. Blow bubbles. Laugh. Play in streams. Be silly.

26. Spend time basking in the beauty of nature.
27. Eat right.
28. Exercise. Exercise improves respiration & circulation, sends nutrients to the cells, and stimulates endorphin production.
29. Substitute good habits for bad habits. For example, if you used to smoke after dinner, go for a walk instead.
30. Slow down. Whether you’re eating, talking, walking, or driving, do it slower.

31. Take up yoga or tai chi. Both relax & strengthen the mind & body.
32. Get a massage.
33. Massage your own hands, face & feet daily.
34. Reach out to someone. Hug your child, put your arm around a friend, stroke your pet.
35. Plant a garden. Gardening is a great way to affirm faith in the future and to observe the wonders of growth & life.

36. H.A.L.T. Avoid being too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. These are the conditions that can make you most vulnerable to relapse into addiction.
37. Remember that when you feel the least like going to meetings can be the time when you need most to attend them. The support of a group has more power to keep you from relapsing than you have by yourself.
38. Make a list of the places to avoid, the people to avoid, and what needs changing in your life. On the reverse side write down what you need to do to achieve these things.
39. Get rid of clutter in your house.
40. Drink more water to help flush toxins out of your system.

41. In all areas of your life, delegate. You don’t have to do everything yourself.
42. Wear cool, pale greens & blues to help you stay calm during stressful periods. Avoid yellow, which can contribute to anxiety, and plaids & prints which can be too busy and cause confusion.
43. Wear comfortable clothing that allows your skin to breathe and allows freedom of movement.
44. Take a relaxing bath. Light a candle, then add a few drops of essential oils such as chamomile, lavender, rosemary, or sandalwood to the bathwater. Soak & enjoy. When you’re done bathing, let the water run down the drain as you visualize all your stress going with it.
45. Maintain a sense of wonderment. Every day try to go out and look at a sunrise, sunset, the moon, or the stars.

46. Read books that connect you to God or to your highest truth. Read books that are uplifting.
47. Ask yourself what the best ways are to heal yourself.
48. Learn to say “No.”
49. Use aromatherapy in times of stress. Essential oils that relieve stress include anise, basil, bay leaf, bergamot, cardamom, chamomile, clary sage, fennel, frankincense, geranium, helichrysum, juniper, lavender, lemon, marjoram, neroli, nutmeg, orange, peppermint, rose, sage, sandalwood, spearmint, and ylang-ylang.
50. Visit an aquarium.

51. Prepare your clothes, paperwork & perhaps your lunch the night before, rather than starting your morning in a frenzy.
52. Take naps.
53. Get up 15 minutes earlier than you think you should.
54. Take care of unpleasant or difficult tasks early in the day, so the rest of your time can be spent more easily.
55. Treat yourself as you would a friend whom you love and care for. Find small ways to treat yourself.

56. Get a set of Chinese hand balls, available at many natural food stores. Learn how to use them.
57. Each day find some positive way to reward yourself — an aromatherapy bath, leisure reading, taking a walk, etc.
58. If you’re blessed with a beloved, make love to your partner very slowly. Allow yourself to experience greater pleasure in intimacy.
59. Learn a new craft. Creating things of beauty is great for self-esteem.
60. Smile. Relaxing your face helps the rest of your body as well as putting at ease those around you. Practice an inner radiating smile and give thanks; allow your heart to fill with love.

61. When you’re heading to the bank, grocery store, or anywhere else there’s likely to be a waiting line, bring a book or magazine. Smile at the other people in line.
62. Do something nice for someone less fortunate than yourself.
63. Take things one at a time.
64. Don’t assume that the success or failure of your children is the result of your influence.
65. Spend quality time with people you care about.

66. Avoid people who cannot honor your addiction-free lifestyle.
67. Have more fun.
68. Spend some time alone every day.
69. Write down your dreams.
70. Remember that saying “Yes” to an addiction once makes it easier to say “Yes” twice. Remind yourself of the advantages of giving up the addiction. Reflect on these often. If a lapse occurs, evaluate why it happened and what you could do differently. Don’t allow a lapse to be a relapse. Get back on your bike. You can be wiser now.

71. Consult the oracles such as I Ching or tarot, with a sincere heart and an open mind.
72. Put all the remedies that help you to stay addiction-free & relaxed in an easily accessible place so you’ll remember to take them.
73. Remember the saying, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Make it a mantra for your daily life.
74. Visit hot springs.
75. Be in tune with the moon.

76. Have courage.
77. Open your heart. Give yourself to love.
78. Write poems.
79. Maintain a sense of humor.
80. Remember that your true self is beyond your body and your career.

81. Enjoy beautiful food that tastes good and is wholesome.
82. Watch movies that are uplifting.
83. Place healing crystals on your chakras.
84. Play Tibetan bowls.
85. Every day make a list of 10 positive, healthy things you can do in a day’s time. Give yourself stars for the ones you do.

86. Celebrate!
87. Be compassionate toward those still struggling with addiction.
88. Put out a birdfeeder. Buy a pair of binoculars and a bird identification book. Watch.
89. Volunteer.
90. Send a handwritten letter to a friend every week.

91. Make homemade treats for your pets.
92. Go for long walks.
93. Make it a habit to see something new — some detail you’ve never noticed before — every day on your commute to work or on your walk around the block.
94. Hold babies … human, feline, canine, or otherwise.
95. Bring a homemade treat — bread, cookies, a wreath — to each of your neighbors. If you don’t already know them, learn their names.

96. Think globally. Act locally.
97. Go on picnics with family & friends.
98. Keep your head up. Look people in the eye.
99. Be honest. Be kind.
100. Leave this earth a better place than you found it.

101. Count your blessings . . . every day!

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12 thoughts on “Tips

  1. I will print your list and hang it up by my dressing mirror.
    Today, for some reason, just TODAY, I understand that I am a Love and Relationship addict. This has been a suspicion that I danced around for about 2 1/2 years now, but two days ago I broke it off cold turkey from a man I had no future with, yet clung to desperately for the last 2 years. The withdrawal is agonizing, but it opened my eyes. I have arrange to have someone watch my kids so that I can attend a meeting on Sunday night. I want to crawl out of my skin right now. Please pray for me that I can kick this way of living. It has brought me nothing but pain.

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  2. Great list… I’m printing it out as a reminder. Today is one of those days where I need to sit with myself. This will definitely be helpful! 🙂

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  3. Pingback: Got withdrawals? |
  4. I know I have love addiction but how do you start your journey on becoming whole and filling the void? How do you even do that? I feel so lost.

    Is it possible to be attracted to nice guys instead of being drawn to guys who are aloof, arrogant, and unavailable?!

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    1. Hi Jennifer,

      If you are at the point of needing to fill your own void and improving the feeling of being “lost” focus on YOURSELF first, and then ask the question about attracting available guys. The healthy guy can’t come before you do the work to make yourself healthy. Not perfect, just healthy. Finding out what your values are is one of the foundation steps to recovery.

      Read my blog starting at the beginning, including other books I’ve recommended…important posts are these:

      Filling the Void http://thelovelyaddict.com/2011/01/07/filling-the-void/
      You’re Entitled to More than Scraps http://thelovelyaddict.com/2014/03/01/you-are-entitled-to-something-better-than-sstuffs/

      How to Avoid the Avoidant http://thelovelyaddict.com/2011/10/23/how-to-avoid-the-avoidant/

      What Are Values? http://thelovelyaddict.com/2010/01/10/what-are-values/

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