As some of you may know, I am a firm believer in the fact that food and drink can change a person’s mood and cause many LAs to revert to toxic behavior and toxic thinking. Yes, yes, yes, alcohol is the obvious culprit. But I also wanted to draw attention to caffeine and sugar.
I am a pretty serious coffee drinker. I only drink one type of coffee in the morning: a New Orleans brand coffee and chickory blend called “Cafe du Monde” (from the infamous New Orleans cafe of the same name). Even if I go on vacation, I will bring some of this stuff in a little baggy with me and brew it my hotel room. Occasionally, if it’s late enough in the afternoon, I’ll get a Starbucks– a soy latte, extra foam. But ONLY if I need to stay up late and even then, I must really be careful how much I drink. I stick to this strict regimen for one reason only– my mood. If I miss my morning cup, depression on the second day sets in. If I drink a half a cup more than usual, but then forget to this on day two, on day three moodiness sets in. And if by chance I am feeling especially celebratory and go for that latte in the afternoon, I almost must keep it up the next day and the day after that lest I come crashing down into a brainless stupor when I finally decide to stop.
When, like during the holidays, I combine too much coffee drinking with a couple glasses of wine at dinner, then maybe add a few cookies for dessert, my brain and emotional state become a breeding ground for insecurity, depression, moodiness, doubt and crankiness. Add to all that an impeding monthly period and I am a relapsed Love Addict.
This is not just my imagination. It’s FACT. And it took me a very long time to truly understand how toxic these substances can be to me. Thing is, I was never clearly able to pinpoint coffee, wine, period and sugar as causing such severe problems because I was always in such crappy relationships that I simply blamed the PoA or myself for not understanding whatever the situation was about. I didn’t know, for example, if I was really upset if G didn’t call to say goodnight to me or if I was just overreacting because of my period. The other thing was, if G didn’t call to say goodnight, I might be OK with it at one point (when I wasn’t drinking too much coffee), but not another (if I had had wine the night before). Even now, if I have a couple drinks on a Tuesday night, rest assure that on Thursday, I will be imagining that D no longer loves me.
My point in all this is that IF you are in active recovery, I STRONGLY suggest you block all these things from your diet, or at least, be AWARE of their possible influence on your system. They cause chemical reactions. Love addiction is, after all, a chemical reaction. These substances, therefore, may provoke emotional instability, insecurity and a heightened sense of neediness for someone or hatred for someone. Bottom line: certain foods and drinks may interfere with the clarity of your thoughts and the stability of your emotions and thus, your ability to UNDERSTAND who you are.
And on that note, I think I’ll go have some decaffeinated tea!