I have come to realize that:
- I am a poor reader
- I jump to wrong conclusions sometimes
- I feel shame if I am not 100% accepted
- I don’t take criticism well, even if it is delivered in the sweetest, kindest way
- I am sometimes insensitive and don’t like being told so.
- I am defensive
- I am sometimes a poor communicator.
Intimacy is intimidating. D and I are at that crucial point in our relationship where neither of us are on our best behavior at all times anymore and sometimes our insecurities and defenses go up.
On his part he says the following:
I am imperfect. I am sometimes too sensitive. I sometimes think I am right and have it all figured out. I am sometimes dismissive of other peoples feelings, instead of just recognizing them as that and that feelings, moods, emotions swing and change. I am sometimes intolerant, which is, in a way, not very sensitive.
I give him credit for knowing these things about himself and sharing them, but now the issue is how to deal with his idiosyncrasies and mine when they tend to flair up.
Positive self talk helps. Believing that he may not always be right and I may not always be wrong helps. And lastly, not taking things too personally helps. People bicker all the time. Arguments ensue. When someone criticizes it’s because they are struggling to maintain the peace of their own life. I have to learn to accept criticism and not take it so personally. It’s not the end of the world and it’s not a reflection upon the person I am inside.