This morning in my yoga class the teacher was talking about the importance of balance and how your mind, not just your physical body, needs to work extremely hard to achieve physical balance.

Of course, I applied this thinking to love addiction. The truth is, as love addicts, we are acutely off balance. Anyone with a disease of psychological disorder is. In order for us to achieve natural balance we end up going after our polar opposite in a mate and then clinging on to them, past all dignity, so as to maintain some sense of balance. This is not quite recovery, but rather, addiction at its worst.

In order to achieve real balance in life, and thus become healthy, it is immensely important to use our brains and FOCUS on our recovery. “Slips” happen naturally- they balance out the pain we feel on the inside and temporarily make us feel whole again. And yet, slipping, among other unhealthy behaviors of a love addict, is counterproductive to healing and recovery. Healthy living comes from focusing and maintaining a right way of living, which takes greater effort. Slipping is easy.

True balance comes from a shift or change in what feel “natural,” or “safe.” In yoga, when you do the Warrior pose, it doesn’t feel natural at all. At least at first. But the more you train your mind to accept the balance and the difficulty of the pose, the more natural it feels and the better balanced you become.

Bottom line: if you leave your recovery up to what feels good and natural (physical self and emotional self), you will have a far more difficult recovery than if you train your mind to work towards balance.