I constantly find the need to assess and reassess where I am in recovery, if at all. It helps put perspective on how far I’ve come and how far I’ve yet to go (setting goals). So….for now, I feel as though I have–
1. realized I cannot stay in a one-sided relationship & that my relationship to my addiction was, for lack of a better word, BAD.
2. tackled the necessary break up
3. Gone through withdrawal (for the most part, though I still have “cravings”)
4. Spent time alone getting to know myself and working a recovery program DILIGENTLY
5. Met someone new that does not trigger any of my addictive behavior and that does fit the definition of a “good, healthy choice.” (He does, however, still trigger my fear of intimacy and commitment, but I am FINALLY AWARE OF THIS)
6. Have set VALUES for myself, or rather, have become aware of my values and have decided to stick to them and NOT give them up for a man.
7. Have integrated all this new, good stuff into my life and am using it in my new relationship.
Where do i still need to be? (GOALS)
1. I still need to work on my boundaries.
2. I still have trouble saying NO (when he asks me if he can come over for a visit I can’t seem to refuse even if I’m not up for it).
3. I still need to stop being AFRAID of or feeling disgust towards boredom, or rather LACK OF DRAMA.
4. I need to maintain personality boundaries and not BECOME who I am dating. I.e. I need to have my OWN identity and be proud of that identity.
5. I need to stop over-analyzing things.
6. I need to have my own life and not allow the relationship or him to take over my life and become the ONLY thing in my life worth living for… (i.e. I need to work on paying attention to my kids, my house, my hobbies, my reading and writing & my job).