Who can take away my pain?


Remember when life coaches were all the rage? Can’t get your act together? Call a life coach. Depressed? Stressed? Have no goals? Call a life coach. They were personal fitness gurus, nurses, therapists and secretaries all rolled into one, and they were the hottest things out there until we all caught on to the fact that they were mostly over-paid and under-trained. But, we bought into them because they played on our magical thinking that our lives could be fixed if only we had that one person to tell us what to do, or better yet, do it for us. If only we had that one magical pill to make us whole again. If only we had a million dollars to solve all our problems.

I remember being at my rock bottom. Hunched over in my bedroom, arms clasped around me, crying, begging God to take away the pain and just fix my life. I remember thinking, This is just too hard for me. I can’t do it. I soothed myself with thoughts of a drug that would make it all go away. I imagined there was a man who existed who would just show up at my door and save me. I was so desperate for help that these fantasies brought me both comfort and frustration. The reality was nothing like that existed. The hard work of figuring it all out was on me.

Knowing that I was the only one who could “fix me” and deal with my pain by myself seemed biting cold and lonely. I just couldn’t. I didn’t think I had what it took.

But I did. And you do too. Somewhere in us there is a fire. And at times, it feels like it’s dying out–just a flicker, about to extinguish. But it isn’t. It just needs a little air.

This is what your fire needs. This is what you need to know to pick yourself up: you are human. And what that means is that you are perfectly built to handle this–whatever this may be– and while whatever you are dealing with may seem heart-wrenchingly painful right now, it will not last. You actually have all the answers. And they will come to you. You just need to be patient. You are your own life coach. Even though you probably didn’t have the right training. You know what feels right and what feels wrong. You just have to give yourself more credit. You just have to keep practicing.

And here’s the best part, while you essentially are the one who must make decisions and figure out your life all by yourself, there are tons of people, resources, friends, family and strangers that will help guide the way, that will hold your hand. And while life coaches and therapists and personal growth strategists won’t solve everything for you (they might not even solve anything for you), they might add to what you already know. They might teach you something you haven’t yet heard in a way that makes sense to you.

But you? Yes, you are the one who needs to sit through the pain. Experience it. Be patient. Breathe. And through the static of all the suffering buzzing around you, listen to the voice within you. That is the Master. She knows. She’s capable. She’s courageous. She will guide you.

 

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