September 2—I spent the night down at my brother’s beach house along with my mother, step-father, and a bunch of others. We all went to the Surf Club and met up with other friends of my brothers’. I didn’t stay late because Fran, Greg’s wife, pissed me the hell off. She was trying to tell me that no one knows about D’s break up with his wife except her and one other person, and I said, that’s old news. I heard it all before. So, I gave some details—D’s ex broke up with him because he was too controlling and wanted too much sex—and I added, “all men are alike.”

She snapped at me, “That’s not even true! Where did you get your information?” I wouldn’t divulge my source (it was Marie), but my brother jumped to my defense and said that everyone already knows they are splitting up. Anyway, she was trying to make like she’s super good friends with D and that he wouldn’t in a million years do anything to hurt his wife, that he’s not controlling and that he probably just has a healthy appetite for sex. Moreover, he’s probably really hurting now. The only thing running through my mind was that us girls need to stick together and that I plan to reach out to his ex and let her know I’ve been through a divorce; if she needs anything I’m there for her. Fran told me I was so wrong and making assumptions about D that I shouldn’t. She’s right! I really don’t know D at all, but I do know men, and they are rarely innocent.

Anyway, I slept horribly. Some idiot was out at midnight singing, “Wasn’t Me,” on a karaoke machine, plus, P was texting me from work all night. Every so often I’d hear ping!

Aside from all that, I spent the day on the beach. R and his wife came down and Angel spent the whole day with him. He said, “Papa is really fun when there’s no computer around.” Yeah. I recall. His wife didn’t bother me. But, as usual, she avoids me like the plague. Everywhere I was, she wasn’t. And if I’d walk in to the room, she’d walk out. Then again, I was prancing around all tan in a bikini feeling quite confident for a change, while she was all covered up and hunched over like a fat person. And she’s not even fat.

P didn’t come down until about four but then left by seven to get back to work. Dribs and drabs. But, I was happy to see him if only for a short time. We spent a little time in the water, lying on the beach, and eating crabs and spaghetti. I took a brief nap and dreamed that P and C were the same person.

Gosh, I miss P so much. I mean, I miss spending quality time with P, not stolen moments here and there. The last time we actually did something together where he wasn’t rushed or didn’t have to dash off to work was last Saturday when he took me into the city for breakfast.

Taken from: The Break-Up Journal

Photo credit: Warm winter By Ezgi Polat @ezgipolat.photography