August 24—Here I am more than two years later back at my beautiful beach home in the Caribbean. I’ve done all my domestic duties, changed all those horrible bed sheets, got rid of old curtains, and hung all the new ones. It definitely looks a million times better. Now, I just need to do several more things like go to the bank, paint the bathrooms, visit Penders, and buy two more wall sconces. I wish I could stay down here for a full month to make sure the job gets done properly.

I have to say, it’s been so nice having P here with me and yet he’s no C. C would have been running around tinkering and fixing things. Then again P fixed a couple things here and there and cleaned up the back patio. Mostly, he drove everywhere and helped me shop, despite me yelling at him to take left and right turns and stay on the left side of the road. I do love P but there hasn’t really been any intimacy going on at all.

I’m getting the sense that he’s a bit distant. Last night I sat on his lap and we looked up at the stars. And while that was probably the most romantic moment between us there has still been a lot of tenseness. He’s so defensive and I get a lot of “Yeah, I know,” “That’s not what I meant,” and “I wasn’t going to say that.” Annoying little comments that he makes to justify his thoughts and words. I think the best thing to do is rest and relax today because tomorrow will be more crazy shit, and Tuesday we’ll have no time for anything.

Oh, and I can’t forget to mention that we swam in the pool for a bit, as well as right off the back patio in the sea. The water is so blue and so clear and so warm how can you not be horny for love, sex, food, and life all day!?

Taken from: The Break-Up Journal