The essence of love is getting out of oneself and into others. When we care less about our feelings, our rights, our happiness, our security, etc., and begin to concern ourselves with the feelings, rights, happiness, and security of others, we will have found the true power of love.–Leo Buscaglia

I wanted to comment on this quote. I read it and it seems that to a Love addict this can be hugely confusing- almost dangerous. A love addict seemingly puts his or her SELF aside and focuses exclusively and obsessively on their lover. You’d think we were right on track! Look! That’s me! I “care less about” MY feelings, rights, happiness, security etc and I am very concerned with the feelings, rights, happiness, and security of others! I am a loving individual. Right? So what’s the problem???

The problem is, love addict do not do what Leo Buscgalia is talking about. They think that’s what they’re doing, but it’s not. The real underlying disease of a LA is that we are soooooo self-focused and sooooo ego-centric. We give love and lose our identitiesfor the purpose of getting something in return. If I do all this stuff for him he will love me and he will not leave me. The kind of love that Buscaglia talks about is selfless love, altruistic love, not the sick, obsessive, NEEDY love LAs offer to get something in return. 

Focus on that. There is a definite distinction here. It helps to understand it. It certainly enlightened me. “wow” moment.