God~Step 2

Let’s see. This is actually an easy question. I am a writer and in one of my short stories about my ex bf, I described him as “The Second Coming.” Blasphemous, I know. But that should explain exactly how much power and significance I gave him. He was God. He was my religion and my higher power and that which gave me the best reason to be ALIVE. And i don’t even consider him my person of addiction. I considered him my healthiest relationship yet. 

I have substituted God for darn near everything because i believe he is in everything and everyone. And yet, just this morning, I asked God to place his hand in front of me and stop me from picking up the phone when the PoA calls, or when the ex replies to my email. I said, I cannot do it on my own, Lord. When that phone rings, I am insane with curiosity and need to talk to the person on the other end, even though I know it’s not right. Now that i have no man in the picture…i hope to get to know God who does not come disguised as a man. God not embodied in a thing or a person. Just God. 

When you don’t know God, but want to, you take him in any form you can get him. You take him disguised as a lover and you say,that’s God. But when you sit quiet and patient and alone and really start to know God, you are able to see that he doesn’t look like a person of addiction. That he is not your bf disguised as the Second Coming. He is much better than that.

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