I know that this sounds like a strange grouping of issues. But really, it should make sense to an LA.
Some where on this board, or perhaps in Susan Peabody’s book “addiction to love” these things (flare-ups, slips and relapses) are defined. I cannot find them right now so I will try my hardest to define them for you:
Flare up: A recurrence or an intensification not lasting very long.
Slip: (or SLIP: Sobriety Lost Its Priority) To decline from a former or standard level; fall off. In addiction recovery, a slip can be a temporary state.
Relapse: A falling back into a former state, especially after apparent improvement.
OK, now for the bit about the PMS and any other chemical/hormonal change in your body including STRESS: Any and all of the above situations (flare ups, slips and relapses) can occur during PMS or stress.
be aware of this. Be aware of what might be bothering you or upsetting you in your life and why you might start entertaining ideas of your PoAs again. If you have a flare up. Recognize it and keep it isolated. If you slip, RECOGNIZE IT and MOVE ON. Go BACK to RECOVERY. You can do this!!!!!
If you relapse, ask yourself what you can do to get back to that place of recovery. Try to re-establish your value system and positive ways of thinking and behaving.
We are human. These incidences will happen. Part of recovery is to expect a small degree of failure. It doesn’t mean you are a failure or you can’t pick yourself back up and try again. It means you are stronger and better able to handle yourself the next time it might happen.
Be good to yourself and remember your WORTH.
One thought on “PMS, Flare-ups and Slips…”
A flair-up is an intensification of feelings associated with love addiction. You are in love and don’t want to let go, but you do. A flair-up stays in the realm of emotions and compulsions. No off limits actions are taken.
A slip is a temporary recurrence of some off limits behavior. You stay with a toxic guy for a few months but not as long as you would have prior to recovery.
A relapse is an abdication of recovery all together which includes leaving your support group. I am not a love addict and I don’t need any help.