One of the clearest signs of an unhealthy, addictive relationship is when you invest more time obsessing over your partner than you do focusing healthy attention on your own life. Investing in, analyzing, obsessing, and fantasizing over another person to the point where you are exhausted, suffering and in pain is like investing money in typewriter stock in a computer world. You’re not going to get much return on your investment.
YOU are your biggest and best investment (as well as your children). And when you start to really understand that, your entire life will have more meaning, purpose and worth.
This is not a selfish act. There is an old saying, “your well must first be full before you can offer thirsty travelers water.” Fill yourself.