I’ve been thinking a lot about perception lately, and so I decided to create this image to show how our vision can sometimes be skewed. We desperately want to believe in our fantasy of a perfect relationship, so much so that we are willing (willing!) to distort our view and overlook some pretty major flaws. And while this image is a little extreme and based on physical looks alone, the bigger picture is, as love addicts, we sometimes refuse to see serious, internal red flags like abuse, neglect, infidelity, manipulation, narcissism and worse. So…my advice for the day? Be honest with yourself. Keep your eyes wide open and don’t be afraid to see things as they are, not as you wish them to be. Remember, when you love yourself, you do everything in your power to protect yourself. And most of the time that means staying grounded in reality.


2 thoughts on “Perception

  1. I can totally relate to this. I know the man I was addicted to was racist vulgar, manipulative and an alcoholic ,verbally and emotionally abusive. I am 2 months into recover and I fight the earge to call him everyday. He is a narcissist and openly says he has no use for love. Yet I fight the earge everyday. My logic knows how wrong he for me and I am truly tring to find and heal the part of me that just can’t let go. I am aware that is is insane and am desparate to function in a healthy way. If only there was a way to make the internal dialog stop!


    1. Hi Desperate,

      There is a way to make the internal dialog stop!!! It’s called deprogramming. Imagine that you have been programmed to believe a false truth–like how cult leaders have been able to brainwash people into doing the most bizarre things and believing the strangest truths. Turn your whole life over to healthy behavior and each time a thought or desire pops into your head about your PoA treat the thought like a toxin that you need to get rid of by replacing with POSITIVE affirmations about who you are. Here’s a quick guide to healthier deprogramming! I think I am going to post some of my favorite lines of “truth” that you need to say to yourself during the process. 🙂


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