This past week, I decided to do the unthinkable– come out from hiding and expose myself. No streaking, or anything like that. But I did start a Facebook page for the Lovely Addict and plaster my face all over the place. In reality, it’s not like I haven’t exposed my face before. I’ve posted the up and coming documentary here several times and it’s about to be shown at film festivals any week now, so what’s the difference? I’m not sure.
For one, the documentary clip is tucked away nicely in old threads, so I don’t have look at my own face every time I log in to write something. I can pretend it doesn’t exist. But when you go and hang a sign outside your shop with your face on it, there’s really no escaping the fact that you exist. In that sense, I feel a little naked on Facebook, and it was a pretty nerve-wracking step for me. But two things: in a matter of months, if anything happens with this film, I’ll be “outted” whether I like it or not. And, some of my favorite bloggers (baggagereclaim and confession of a love addict ny) are baring all. If they can do it, so can I.
The trouble is, I walk a fine line. By coming out, I risk embarrassing myself, my friends and my family. I am now more open to criticism and my biggest fear is that people will laugh at me. Ugg. REJECTION! It’s already happen with, dare I say it, my own brothers. I love them dearly but they are very conventional, simple-minded guys, who laugh at others for sport. Then again, they used to laugh at me because I flew off to live in Europe and then both of them ending up either dating or marrying an International girl and flying off to Spain or Ireland themselves.
The bigger joy (and goal) here is that I love to write and that I really am on a mission to inspire worth and value in every woman (or man) who has ever remained in a crappy relationship long past the point of dignity. I also read something somewhere that I never forgot: “Write about what makes others uncomfortable, including yourself, and you stand to make a change.” Love addiction definitely makes me feel uncomfortable. And I know it makes others uncomfortable too.
So…let’s hear it for a little discomfort! And by all means, come visit me and “like” my Facebook page and be uncomfortable with me 🙂