Cried so hard I laughed

This Thanksgiving was possibly the best holiday I’ve had in a very long while. VERY LONG. I have to say that usually, as was the case with my ex hubby or with G, my expectations were so much higher during the holidays than normal. Would they come to dinner? Were they enjoying themselves? Did they buy me something wonderful? Will they be helpful or disappear? And so on. The holidays were very stressful for me in my relationships. And this year, I didn’t have to experience ANY of that. 

My family, having the great sense of humor that they do, made a little scarecrow, tied him to a chair at the dinner table and named him Gary, based on the previous Gary of the previous post. He turned out to be the best date ever. And we couldn’t stop with the jokes. 

This one won’t get away so easily.

So, where did you and Gary meet? The farmer’s market?

Gary is certainly not afraid to take risks as far as fashion goes…

and so on.

Anyway, my point is, I could have been miserable. I could have been heavy on the “poor me” stuff. But I wasn’t. At one point my brother cracked a joke that I laughed so hard I started to cry. I had to remove myself from the table and went into the bathroom. I stared into the mirror and a part of me was crushed and the tears came pouring out. I’m not sure if I was crying for me or for the loss of S or the world in general. But a deep sadness overcame me and I stood there for a moment and let it out. I could have remained there for much longer than a minute. All day if I wanted. But no sooner had I burst into tears that I collected myself and said, No. Don’t go there. And with that…i straightened myself up, dried my eyes and went back to my family where i didn’t stop laughing until I was home in my warm bed.

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