Hello friends! It’s been a while since I’ve posted. I figured today is as good as any to write something. In fact, I think today is a better day than most to write because today is my most detested day of the year, except maybe New Year’s Eve. The dreaded Valentine’s day. Happy, happy, happy…Actually, it is no longer my most detested day. It’s rather innocuous now. But, wow, 10 years ago? It was a nightmare.
Throughout my first marriage my ex-husband never even acknowledged V day. He never even bought me flowers for anything. Not Christmas. Not Mother’s day. Not any holiday whatsoever. Not even on the days I gave birth to either son, or the day I graduated with high honors from Rutgers University, after 16 years of trying. I don’t believe he even gave me flowers when my father died. In fact, to my dismay, one Valentine’s day I found out that he had sent some girl down in Georgia a dozen white roses. I never even got a sex toy wrapped in pink paper.
After the dissolution of my marriage, Valentine’s day for me continued on a downward spiral. There were the occasional carnations wrapped in plastic from a convenience store that G would pick up out of obligation. No card attached. There was the “I’ve been neglecting you to go party with friends” Valentine’s day lily from S (isn’t that the flower of DEATH?). I planted it in my front yard and the squirrels ate it. And finally, there was the “we just started fucking and I want to move out of my parents house and in with you” Valentine’s day flower and chocolate from M, which, admittedly, was quite nice. Yet, they came with such onus that every time I looked at them I couldn’t help but wonder if they were an omen of impending doom (they were).
At any rate, no guy ever got it right, if there was a guy in the first place. And so, I grew to hate V day. In fact, V day became a jarring reminder of the scraps that I was settling for. On top of that, I just wasn’t able to distance myself from what society said I should be on this day (part of a couple) and when you can’t do what society wants you to do, and you cannot be what society wants you to be, well, you feel like a complete loser.
It took me about 10 years to figure it out, but I finally did. V-day is just another day on the calendar. Screw society and Hallmark and FTD florist. Be your own person. Go to work. Meet up with friends. Go do something nice for yourself or do nothing at all. It’s just another day. A beautiful day. Why? Not because you’re single. But because you are alive!
Happy NOTHING day!